Mr. X

In the beginning it was like any single man and single woman getting to know each other. A budding “friendship” constantly tested by sexual tension and “what-if’s”. It was a relationship that they could never quite both put their fingers on or pin-point what direction the wind off Lake Michigan was actually taking them. It was a straight person’s relationship enigma. Two people, obviously attracted to each other and enjoyed spending time together, but unable to push through to the other side. Or as some may say, unable to pass through the infamous “friend zone”. But, after several months of mixed weather reports, the eye of the storm had finally arrived and their friendship just sort of grew into what it is now, a very platonic, loving, yet fiery Him and Her.

Mr. X (as he prefers to be called for the purposes of this blog) moved to Chicago just two weeks after me, on January 17, 2007 all the way from St. Louis. And the reason I so fondly remember the day we met is because we made a pact to always celebrate our anniversary at the very place we both first graced each other's paths ~ at a little hidden Irish Pub on the North Side, just a bit South from where I live now. He was out blowing off some much needed steam with two old friends who helped him move that day, and I was winding down after a strenuous day of shopping with my Aunt “V” who was visiting from the East Coast. Just to note, my happily married Aunt “V” was not helping me pick up men, she just happily served as my supportive wing woman. And I’m not quite sure if it was the Red Bull and Vodka, or the endless tone-deaf karaoke singing that night, but I do believe that the evening between Mr. X and I was sealed with a kiss. Our first and last (for the most part). Because as aforementioned, our relationship has now grown into a lovingly platonic friendship and he will always be known as my first real friend in my brand new city. And I couldn’t have started out in this new place without him. He takes care of my electronic woes, corrects my golf swing, and always remembers my birthday. And when I needed to be picked up from the hospital this past winter, Mr. X was there. As for what I give to him, well that’s a different story. He may say that I am his oh so tender, yet favorite “nagging” gal pal, but I would argue that I am his conscience. A voice, that Chicago’s most eligible bachelor needs to hear ~ especially now.

Mr. X is similar to more than fifty percent of men out there who “claim” they don’t want to be in a relationship. One may call those types non-committal, but I on the other hand call them ridiculous, or scared. This is just my opinion of course, but I truly feel that there is no such thing as being a commitment phobe. What I feel is that men and women who say they don’t want to be in a relationship just mean that they have not found the right person with whom they want to be in a relationship with. Or, maybe they are scared that if they commit they will give up the opportunity to have their chance with the next best thing. And my philosophy on that is when the BEST thing shows up on your doorstep, you’ll just know it ~ and then, the non-committal man or woman will immediately become extinct. Something I have observed a million and one times before.

As a successful computer executive making a nice living in one of the greatest cities in the country, Mr. X has the flexibility of arranging his own schedule to complement his weekly tee times and required happy hours ~ AND he currently has on retainer five living, breathing, more than willing women at his beck and call. Wait a second and let me re-clarify that last statement. These women are not call girls, but five single, unknowing women, who I can probably bet the farm on think they are the only ones in Mr. X’s life. Mr. X who “claims” he doesn’t want to be in a relationship is as he would say ~ living the dream. Five women. Five different types of sex at his fingertips. Wow, what man in his right mind who hasn’t yet found “the one” passes all that up?

What I have to say to you, my fine friend Mr. X, is to really look at what is going on here. Examine this lovely flock of your five incredible women who would each give their right arm for you and perhaps, if you feel potential with any one of them, make a choice. Pick your favorite, or listen to me who has already noted her fan favorite. We joke about your women in terms of being geographically desirable (living in the city), geographically undesirable (living in the suburbs), and geographically impossible (living where? Springfield, IL is it?). Desirable, undesirable, or impossible ~ if you follow your heart and take a chance, I bet the payout would be well worth it. But… if you still want to be just like George (Clooney, that is) and never get married, or fall in love, etc… I will continue to respect you ten-fold, just like I respect George. And just like George, be honest with yourself; be honest with your women, and for the love of God… Don’t forget to wear your rubbers!









.